Roxane Gay Lists 13 Rules for Female Friendships

by Roxane Gay

1. ''Abandon the cultural myth that all female friendships must be bitchy, toxic or competitive. This myth is like heels and purses–pretty but designed to SLOW women down.

1A. This is not to say women aren’t bitches or toxic or competitive sometimes but rather to say that these are not defining characteristics of female friendship, especially as you get older.

1B. If you find that you are feeling bitchy, toxic or competitive toward the women who are supposed to be your closest friends, look at why and figure out how to fix it and/or find someone who can help you fix it.

2. A lot of ink is given over to mythologizing female friendships as curious, fragile relationships that are always intensely fraught. Stop reading writing that encourages this mythology...''