Just Keep Going

How A Soul-Sucking Job Can Help You Find Your Purpose

''I’m sitting at my office desk trying desperately to hold back my tears. My body is numb and I feel excruciatingly heavy in my chair. There is something in the air today that I can’t quite grasp, but I know today is unlike any previous workday. My boss comes over and asks me to come with him to Human Resources. As I follow him, my mind sprints to possibilities — I have been with this company for four years, and never once have I been called to a meeting with HR and my boss. I’m not due for a raise or a promotion. The only other rational reason for this would be that I'm getting fired.

I become acutely aware of my surroundings. The air is so thick, a knife couldn’t cut it. I hear a pen drop across the office, the sound seems to boom out of proportion, and I realize it is a reflection of my heart falling into my stomach. I feel as if I might pass out, so I remind myself to breathe and keep moving forward. I am asked to sit down. As I slowly breathe out, my boss begins to tell me that he is pleased with my positive attitude and that I am always a pleasure to work with but that the roles of the agency have changed and the demands of my position are no longer being met.

As he talks, I find myself spacing out, watching his lips move, but in my mind hearing only static. I think to myself, “If you're going to give me the ax, just do it. Cut to the chase. The anticipation is killing me.” Then I remind myself that this might be the most pivotal moment of my entire life. It’s time to quiet the inner chaos and pay attention. I force myself to listen...''

by Shannon Kaiser